im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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