Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize