omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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