You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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