My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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