; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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