At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
