Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
