So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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