Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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