This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
