The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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