Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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