Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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