I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
