I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize