Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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