you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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