From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
