I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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