he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
