ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
