i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
