I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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