i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
