Swine flu. Run for my life!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
