Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
