and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
