If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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