Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
