we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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