everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Do vagina's smell?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
