I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
