Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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