I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
