If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
