At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
