i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
