I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
