And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Can I color on your dick again?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
