I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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