So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
