Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
