I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
