so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
