worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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