It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
