i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
