Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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