i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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