O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
