Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
