grandma shit on top of the toilet
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Randomize
