why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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