Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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