Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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