when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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