I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
