I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
