just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
