I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
