Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize