Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
