I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
