first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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