literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
