I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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